


A Place in This World

by Thaiser



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Human!Tav, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Xenophilia, troll!Gamzee - Freeform, zoostuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2014-01-29
Packaged: 2017-12-04 10:04:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/709538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thaiser/pseuds/Thaiser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alien life form has been discovered on earth, after being deemed a hapless test animal, reminiscent of the monkeys humans themselves had sent to space on a few occasions, rather than a very intelligent species, it is sent to live out its days in a zoo</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The huge creature inspired both intimidation and awe, along with it's fair share of pity.

They all felt sorry for having to stress the poor thing like this, but it had to be done, they had to figure out what it was, and where it had come from, and perhaps most importantly, what it was here for, and if pressed hard enough a few of them might even admit that they were a little disappointed, most were, they had all hoped for something a little grander, a little more, well, helpful.

When the blazing light that had illuminated the night sky only a few weeks ago had been confirmed to be a spacecraft that was distinctly not NASA property, but rather something else, something no one knew quite what to make of, some said it would be one of many, that soon the others would be coming, that this was just a hapless scout animal, and they took to the streets to exuberantly proclaim their intellectual superiority to the unbelievers calmly going about, minding their own business.

The heretics didn't care much for the words of the zealous, they had heard them all countless times before from the very same people, no one believed their words but themselves, for they saw proof in everything, they saw the alien and the frightening in every little thing they encountered that could not be immediately explained, and their words were easily dismissed as utter twaddlespeak.

The hard words to quell were the ones that came with the evening news, the ones that told a story of how the crashed spacecraft had been found intact, and with something alive in it too, and that this something was now being examined by the  
very best of the many minds the human species had managed produce.

These great intellects had since concluded in tandem, that the creature was not what had built it's method of transportation, in fact it did not seem to be showing any signs of understanding what was going on, it thrashed and snarled, biting and striking out, even when attempts by the staff at communication were made, all they ever got in return was more clicking and growling.

So in the end they gave up on trying to make it understand, settling instead for simply examining the being itself, it was after all a fascinating creature, standing at eight foot tall it was enormous and clearly very physically powerful, it had proven this fact many times, making huge dents and holes in walls and doors, tearing down the interior, even that which had been securely bolted in place beforehand.

This naturally deterred the scientists from coming into direct contact with it, none of them wanted to risk entering it's range of mobility and being caught in it's obvious outbursts aggression and fear, so they sedated it when they had to, those teeth and claws were not to be trifled with, not to mention the horns, no one wanted to be near when it was feeling energetic.

The scientist who had been put in charge of the project was Mister Daniel Nielson, a stern, serious man in his late forties, he had seen most everything the scientific world had to offer, and few things still managed to surprise him.

"We have determined it to be a simultaneous hermaphrodite" he spoke calmly into the little black box he held up to his face "this determination was made based on the presence of two genital openings, one confirmed to contain a phallic construct, the configuration of the creatures gonads cannot be determined without an autopsy" he was sitting in his office reviewing the information in his mind to be abbreviated and written down in the form of a report to the higher ups who were no doubt waiting anxiously for his next findings.

"It is a sensical choice for an inter-spacial scout, though it does not seem intelligent enough to report back on it's own, it is heavily armed with natural weapons such as the very prominent horns, teeth and claws and considerable size, as well as having these attributes the creature is a carnivore showing signs of having territorial instincts, who prefers to fight rather than attempt an escape, this could possibly point to a hostile and predatory natural environment or large amounts of competition among it's own species"

He pressed a button on the side and put the tiny recorder down to lie on his desk, supporting his chin in the palm of his hand he mused quietly to himself.

He felt conflicted, a war raged within him, the scientist in him wanted to keep the creature in the facility in case he came up with a few more tests to do, but the caring side of him, the one that had prompted him to take in an injured sparrow as a boy, the part of him that had always wanted a child to care for, wanted desperately to just let the poor thing go, it was clearly stressed out of it's mind with never knowing what was going to happen next.

This wasn't healthy for the poor thing, it needed stability and a safe place to call it's own, and it needed it badly, but he couldn't just let it out to run free and wild in the forest. So where could he put it then?

He mulled this over for a long while, considering a long range of possibilities, he could not possibly let a foster caretaker watch after it, the chance of injury was just way too high, that put normal pet and feral animal shelters on the shelf too, he couldn't let it out into a protected wildlife reservation, god only knows what kind of damage it might do to the local ecosystem.

Somewhere enclosed, somewhere safe, with professional and trained carers too.

It suddenly dawned on him, a zoo! He could put it in a zoo! It would be taken proper care of there, and it would not have to deal with any unnecessary disruptions of daily routines, everything in a zoo ran on a carefully constructed schedule, yes, a zoo would be good, they would be used to handling rare and dangerous animals too.

Now all he had to do was find one big and professional enough to handle the huge task of caring for an actual, real life, alien species from outer space.


	2. Chapter 2

Deciding where to send the monstrous creature was one thing, getting it there however, was a different matter entirely.

How in the world does one go about shipping an extra terrestrial creature from a top secret facility located in the scenic and homey little town of “move along now, nothing to see here” to one of the largest zoological gardens in the country, all without anyone, especially not the media, finding out about it.

Well you start off by thoroughly sedating it, just another classic example of that good old saying of “easier said than done”.

The first obstacle is that, naturally and understandably, the being itself isn’t entirely cooperative when it comes to being poked with pointy objects, in fact it seemed to have quite an aversion to that.

From the moment Mr. Nielson walked into the sterile and bland white painted room that contained the creature’s solid metal cage, built into the room to eliminate any chances of escaping, it was snarling furiously, in fact he knew all too well that it had no doubt heard him coming from miles away and begun growling even before he had gotten anywhere near the room.

Of course the creature’s mood didn’t exactly improve when it saw him loading up the tranquilizer gun, it suddenly seemed all too plausible that the furious thing just might break out of it’s confinement just to get at him before he could have the chance to fire at it, and Mr. Nielson had to fight the urge to keep a constant eye on it, just to make sure he could escape should the unexpected happen.

It’s attitude make a complete turnabout when it noticed it’s intimidation tactics weren’t exactly working and Mr. Nielson steadied the long rifle in his hands, aiming right at the creature now backing away quickly, it stood on it’s long back legs squished up into the concrete corner of it’s prison, still growling as vigorously as before, though it now lacked that certain spark that had previously served to make it sound threatening, and not just sad and desperate.

It was all too clear however that that was the creature’s true state of mind in that moment, with it’s hands and back pressing urgently into the wall behind it, as if trying to sink into it or somehow camouflage itself, it growled and snapped, but dear old Mr. Nielson saw through it clear as day now, it wasn’t real, it was just a last ditch effort at rebellion, and he felt a sting of empathy reach his heart as he looked down the barrel, he was absolutely certain now, it needed to go somewhere else, it really did.

So as he quietly uttered an “I’m sorry buddy” to the creature at the other end of his weapon, he slowly squeezed the trigger, and the gun went off with a muted bang, firing a colorful little dart straight into it’s thigh, he could have sworn it screamed.

And as it hobbled around desperately trying to figure out what had just happened to it, clutching at it’s thigh, screeching loudly and frantically like a man possessed before finally slowing down to a crawl and little whimpers and whines as it collapsed tiredly onto it’s own belly, still holding it’s leg close, curling up to the best of it’s ability in the awkward position before it finally stilled and the noises slowly stopped and faded away.

Mr. Nielson made sure to wait at least ten minutes before reacting, as much as he did feel terribly sorry for the poor thing, he couldn’t risk it waking up suddenly, or not quite being asleep yet, simply lying there playing dead in the hopes that he might leave it alone now.

After many minutes of meticulously examining the rise and fall that heralded it’s breathing, he called in the others and had the creature carefully moved to the sturdy metal crate it would have to spend the hour long journey to Skaia Zoo in, he just hoped the sedatives would continue to work, and that the creature would remain blessedly asleep through out the trip.

As he stood there, waving his colleagues off as the truck drove out of the gates and into the distance, he could not help but recognize the heavy feeling in his chest, of both relief and elation, along with sadness and begrudging submission to the ways of the world, as being the very same one that he had experienced, when he had let the little sparrow he had nursed so lovingly back to health when he was just a little boy, go.

Now, as a grown man and professional, he suddenly felt exactly like that little boy again, who fought not to cry when the bird flew out of his hands, and disappeared into the horizon, because though he knew that it was for the best, that it was where the little bird was supposed to be, where it would be happiest, he would still miss it terribly, and hope that he could have done just a little bit more for it.

It was a long trip, and though they were not bothered by anyone, and the media had not seemed to have been suspecting anything at all, it was still an arduous journey, they could not just for anything but essentials, they needed to arrive in the shortest time possible within the restrictions of the law, they could not risk their cargo having an untimely awakening.

It thankfully did not, they drove to the back entrance of the zoo in the dead of night in silent peace, and handed the huge crate over to the staff at the zoo uneventfully, things were going well, the creature was gently moved out of the box into it’s new home in a brand new exhibit, beautifully decorated in an almost swamp like theme.

It had a little lake at one end where a giant window sat in front of a tiered set of benches with a large cleared area in front, so people could sit on the topmost benches and see the creature as it moved about on land, or watch at the bottom viewing area as it swam beneath the waterline with the colorful fish that already populated the water, on the other end was a big pile of straw in the corner, surrounded by large trees that provided an obvious opportunity to climb and forage.

They left the huge creature in it’s new found domicile in the hay pile in the corner, to hopefully recover before morning came, and the park opened to reveal it’s brand new and sensational resident.


	3. Chapter 3

He was excited, so unbelievably excited, today would be his very first day at his first real grown up job, he had just acquired a grown up apartment with the help of his dad, now all he had to do was maintain his new found independence from his parental figure.

And hopefully, that would be exactly what this dream of an occupation would be able to help him achieve.

He had been hoping for this opportunity since the meager age of four when his dad took him to a zoo and let him pet the bouncing little goats and feed them uncooked spaghetti out of his bare hands as they crowded around the giggling preschooler.

Even at such a young age he had immediately turned to his father and proudly proclaimed as he pointed bravely at one of the zookeepers, that that was what he wanted to be as a grown up, he wanted to care for these animals, he wanted to feed them when they were hungry and heal them when they were sick, the chance to spend his days doing something good for another living being was so clear and obvious that he just had to take it, had to make use of it.

He knew it would be hard work of course, he was old enough now to realize that zoo keeping would not be all sunshine and rainbows, it would be hard work, and the occasional tragic death of an animal, that was something that simply could not be stopped, it would inevitably happen at some point, it is in the nature of all things living, to eventually die, and he was a grown man now, old enough to know and understand these simple facts of life.

Still, as he was showed around in the early morning hours, being informed of his morning routines and duties, he felt giddy beyond comprehension none the less, nothing was perfect, but as far as Tavros could tell, this was pretty damn close, he could not help but think about how much fun it would be to go to work each morning and spend his time feeding and tending to all these beautiful creatures of nature, but with food comes muck, muck that would need shoveling, and as the newest inductee into the mysterious ways of zoo keeping, it would, of course, be his very own responsibility to take care of the shit duties first and foremost.

Only after that did the feeding and casual observation of the animals come into play, but that was okay, everything comes at a price, and Tavros figured that this would definitely be a price he was willing to pay.

He looked up from smiling gleefully at one of the little gibbons jumping and hooting around in it's cage at the sight of the large bowl of fruits that had just been introduced into the exhibit, when he heard the slightly grey haired man showing him around, he had a vague recollection of the man introducing himself as Jeremy or something or other, mention with excitement clearly present in his voice, that they had in fact just received a brand new arrival at the zoo just last night, and that he had been deliberately saving this for last as a little surprise for the equally new employee.

Tavros could not have been more worked up at the news, how great was this, to be one of the first to actually see this new resident before the park opened to the public, he did not yet know what it was exactly, but was practically bouncing in place anyway, he had been assured by Jeremy that he would know what it was when he saw it, he could not wait.

So he eagerly followed his new coworker past a few reptile and amphibian exhibits, silently pleading that he would move a little faster and stop drawing out the suspense, to a very obviously newly constructed building right on the edge of both the amphibian and mammal areas, right on the border, it was a huge not particularly distinguished house without any decorations or signs detailing it's contents, Jeremy assured him that they would be in place by the time the public showed up in a few hours time.

So Tavros just shrugged it off and followed Jeremy into a dark room "I just need to go turn the power on, they only just finished this place a few days ago" Tavros nodded and stayed where he was out of a sudden fear of tripping as the door closed behind him and Jeremy left his side with a flashlight showing him the way to a backroom, Tavros watched it carefully, hoping that perhaps it might give him a glance at something other than the large room's neatly polished wooden floors.

He was not so lucky, Jeremy stuck to business and the light soon disappeared into a discrete side door, so he just stood there waiting more or less patiently for the lights to come on, they did, the room was slowly illuminated as the overhead lights slowly and gradually brightened to reveal the room he was standing in.

The first thing he noticed was that he seemed to be standing directly behind a row of benches, walking around them he soon noticed that there was in fact a stair case on either side going down, with several more rows of benches on each level, all these benches were situated facing towards a huge glass window that took up most of the wall in front, bordered only by a door on each side, both open and leading to another staircase that seemed to curve around the exhibit.

As he walk down the stairs to stand in front of the thick window he noticed that the water that before had seemed quite shallow, actually came up to his shoulders, the fish in the water where beautiful, but it seemed a bit redundant to have created such a huge enclosure for the sake of a few fish.

He did not see Jeremy walk back into the room from behind a door on the top level where the benches started "you can just start up on your rounds like i showed you when you're done checking this place out okay?"

He turned around in slight surprise "yeah, sure, I'll do that, and I should just call you if anything goes wrong right?"

"yep, if you run into any problems you can just call me up on the radio, you can just come see me when you run out of errands"

He nodded mutely, and as he turned back to crouch down and watch the fish he heard the door close behind him, leaving him alone to discover the wonders of this place on his own.

Too absorbed in watching the colorful fish swim in and out of the little caves the roots of the mangrove trees above created, he did not notice a slouching form stirring on the other side of the enclosure, he did not see it rise to stand on it's strong back legs nor did he see it stretching it's neck to scout him out.

He did however hear it growl menacingly, and only just looked up in time as a huge grey mass launched itself aggressively against the glass wall that separated them, he fell back on his behind in utter surprise at the sudden movement and huge bang that resonated and echoed loudly through the otherwise silent building, he noticed long curving orange horns first, then a tangled mass of black hair, partially covering and matting wetly over the snarling concrete grey face of the gigantic and very naked creature that now stood in the water before him.

He crawled backwards quickly when his eyes fell on the huge teeth that threatened him, and the sharp claws that scraped and dragged angrily across the surface of the glass between them, it did not even scratch the surface, the glass was too thick.

The huge creature banged it's head against the glass angrily, trying to break it with sheer brutal force, it did not even make the slightest dent.

Tavros was stunned, he had seen pictures of this on the news, of a huge grey form being taken away into a truck, the news anchor had said that it was an alien life form, a real, living, being from another planet entirely.

Scratching and clicking furiously at the thick glass in front of it it looked almost desperate now, even more so when it simply looked around despairingly, giving out an increasingly sadder wail as it realized it had no way out of this place, that it was trapped.

Tavros stood carefully as he watched it frantically crawl out of the water turning it's massive head in all directions rapidly, when it had finally scouted the entire complex, it seemed to fall apart from the inside, it just dropped down onto it's front and curled up slowly on it's side and just laid there.

As he slowly recovered from the shock Tavros gathered his wits and walked through one of the doors off to the side of the big window, he followed the stairs up and around the creatures enclosure till he was on a huge walkway that went all the way around the enclosure, looking down at the collapsed form of his previous aggressor as it laid there lethargic and apathetic, he saw it's head turn slowly to look up at him, but it listlessly turned away again soon after without any further response, and returned to silent motionlessness.

He had never felt more pity for any living being before, this was just tragic, it was not being aggressive for the hell of it, it was miserable and confused, and he wanted so desperately to help it.


	4. Chapter 4

It was such a pitiful thing, it just laid there, it did not seem to care about him anymore.

Only moments ago when it had charged at him growling furiously, he had thought it aggressive and dangerous, a huge predator who had not yet adjusted to being around people all the time, who still thought that it could scare them away, frighten them into leaving it alone.

But now, he saw it in a very different light, this was suddenly not just some brutal carnivore trying to claw its way to a meal, but a creature who had been abandoned by its own, and passed around for people to point and gawk at, never knowing what the light of tomorrow would bring with it.

What a sad way to be treated, what a sad existence, what a sad creature.

He stood there for a long time just pondering to himself, how downtrodden and alone this poor thing must feel, how much more alone can you be in the world than to be the only one of your species in the known universe, to know that no one else had yet come for you, that no one expected them to anymore but the most hopeful.

He wanted to apologize, to tell it how sorry he was that this was how things would have to be, that this life was all there could be offered, but that would be silly of him, it had already been concluded by scientists and biologists worldwide, and published on the evening news, not to mention how it was the main topic of conversation all over the planet right now, that this was indeed extra terrestrial, just not the intelligent kind.

Still, he felt it deserved to know that this was not what he would have wished for it, intelligent or not, that this wasn't right, it deserved to know that there was someone out there who cared, someone who wanted to help.

So he told it, looking down upon it with pitying eyes he spoke in a near whisper.

"I'm very sorry that they treat you like this, and that you're so scared all the time, but I promise I am only trying to help you okay?"

He didn't know what he expected to happen, but he had expected something, after all even his quiet and solemn little soliloquy had practically echoed in the silence, but nothing ever happened, the creature did not move from its spot, and only after contemplating it for a few more moments did Tavros himself move.

He walked back down the stairs from the balcony, and shot one last sympathetic glance at the tightly curled up form behind the glass, before he turned and walked back up past the rows of benches, back out into the zoo, leaving the creature alone to hopefully recover from its apathetic lethargy.

He tried to put it out of his mind, to put the thoughts of the creature behind him, and just focus on his work, the last thing he wanted was to mess up on his very first day because he got distracted in his first hour of even being there, that would suck.

So he worked, he shoveled and he heaved, he even did his best not to make too sour a face when the animals uncaringly desecrated an area only minutes after he had scraped all the muck off and was about to leave, it was almost like they wanted a dirty floor, and for it to look like he had not even tried to do his job properly.

Oh well, nothing to do but clean it all over again and then hurry out before they could do it all over again and it became and endless circle of them destroying the results of his work and him trying to rectify the damages lest his boss fire him on his first day.

When every animal assigned to him finally had a clean place to sleep, he rested for a bit.

He sat quietly and ate his lunch on a bench in front of the lemur habitat, he would have to feed them when he was done.

People were slowly starting to trickle into the zoo, he saw more and more of them when he walked around between habitats, when he passed the big white building he knew to contain the alien creature from this morning, he vaguely noted that it now had huge banners hanging on each side of the door, covering the large white facade of the creatures home, beckoning in the visiting guests, come see the fascinating creature you've all heard about, it proclaimed, come see, and be amazed.

Another stabbing wave of pity found a home in the depths his chest, his heart bled for the poor thing, it had only been here for half a day and now this?

He did not blame it for its shaky nerves, he did not blame it if it felt overwhelmed, how could he, how could anyone ever be blamed for being constantly on edge in that situation.

He shook his head, no, don't think about it, is being in a cage empty of vegetation and nature, surrounded only by impersonal bars of stainless steel, drinking tasteless water from a bowl on the concrete floor, in a sterile room, just sitting there, waiting for the next distressing test, or humiliating examination, really a better life, a fuller life?

No, it wasn't, whether he liked it or not, this was the best option for the creature right now, the best shot it had at ever having a semi normal life again was here, in this zoo, and whether it knew it or not, all that was done here, was to help and better it, a zoo cannot thrive if its inhabitants don't do the same.

It was for the best, and hopefully, the creature would some day adjust to all this, would eventually come to know the daily routines, and understand that it was not in any actual danger, that food and water was a constant, and that just as the glass and steel protected guests from it, it also protected the creature from them.

Still, as he walked along to his next assignment, he made a note to visit it later, after the the visitors left. and make sure it had handled the day alright, and to ask Jeremy how it was doing so far.


	5. Chapter 5

His back was aching, his shoulders were aching, hell, even his knees were throbbing painfully when he walked up the steps to the staff break room.

The discrete little house was carefully hidden in a minor forest of pine trees and dense shrubbery so as to hide it from the curious eyes of wandering guests, Tavros was almost certain that the little staircase to the door was there only to keep the undergrowth out, the entire area was of course covered in signs and plaques guiding any errand guests back towards civilization with steadily increasing levels of assertiveness.

It wasn’t dingy or even untidy as Tavros had initially expected it to be, it was just a simple big room populated only by a long table with chairs crowded around haphazardly, and the obligatory coffee machine, that, to the great elation of the exhausted young man, also dispensed a surprisingly tasty cup of hot chocolate.

Oh, and Jeremy happened to be there too.

A warm drink came first though, nothing like a little sugar rush to stop his joints from viciously murdering him in retaliation of their percieved abuse.

“Hey Tavros, so how was your first day? you sore yet?” Jeremy spoke with a teasing grin on his face, when Tavros had arrived that morning one of the first things he had told him was that they could get rid of all that energy for him no problem, Tavros had not entirely believed it at the time, he had felt too wound up and excited to tire easily, but he most certainly believed in it now, how could he not.

“Yeah, my shoulders are pretty bad” Tavros nodded smiling just slightly, Jeremy gave a little laugh in reply “it’s only like that at first, don’t worry, it gets better as you adapt, you’ll develop more muscle in time” he nodded reassuringly at his young coworker.

Tavros smiled wider and laughed shortly along with him, yeah it would get better, and the time would pass no matter what, might as well spend it on something useful.

Tavros suddenly remembered as he stood there leaning on the only semi new table, his worried thoughts quickly hurried back to him as he set his cup down and looked over at Jeremy who seemed to be doing some form of paper work.

“Oh yeah! i meant to ask you Jeremy, how is the alien new arrival doing? is he settling in alright?” he inquired curiously.

Jeremy quickly looked up from his little pile of pens and paper “hmm? oh! yeah! I don’t know actually I haven’t been there in a while, he’s been pretty aggressive towards the guests but he seems to be calming down, I can’t tell if it’s because he’s adjusting or because he’s becoming weak from not eating though” he waved a dismissive hand about as he spoke “would you mind checking up on him for me? just take a good look at him and see what you think, you might as well learn to read the animals from the start”

Tavros nodded his consent hastily, quickly downing the last of his cocoa before he hurried out the door, not that he was worried about it, nope, it had nothing to do with how thin and lethargic he had been the last time Tavros had seen him, nothing at all.

Well, maybe just a little, Tavros finally admitted to himself, it was pretty damn pitiful, and it was kicking his mother hen instincts into high gear, his father had always said that he was a “savior”, the kind of person who simply could not pass anything or anyone in need of a hand, without helping them get back up on their feet first.

Whether or not that was entirely true, Tavros was not certain, he just did what felt most natural to him, and if that was helping, then that was what he would do, with this in mind he trudged through the mostly empty park, only a few visitors had not yet found their way to the exits, it wouldn’t be long before the entire complex closed down for the day.

And in the light of having had such a long, tiring day, Tavros was glad to have a minute to himself, just walking calmly down the little walkways, heading towards the main attraction of today, and probably many other days soon to come.

It took a while for him to finally arrive at the big white building, still decorated in the colorful banners that had been hastily applied to the bland exterior the very same morning, the door was open, and the room still had dirt tracks leading down the stairs and all over the benches, just as he had guessed, this was what most people had come to see.

Not that there was anything surprising about that, he was pretty curious himself, though he did still kind of wish the poor creature could have had a little peace during the day, instead of being so constantly surrounded by obnoxiously hawaii patterned shirts and the insistent flashing of expensive camera lenses.

He couldn’t see it at first, it was only when he looked closely that he noticed the curled up grey form behind the hay pile in the corner, it looked like he had been attempting to hide but in the end gave up on it entirely and merely settled for turning his back and piling up hay around him in an effort to at the very least try to obstruct, or even just obscure him from the myriad of prying eyes lurking behind the glass.

He didn’t move when Tavros approached the glass window, only his ear appeared from its hiding place in his matted mass of hair and twitched a little in his direction before slowly settling back down against his head in an expression Tavros would have interpreted as sadness had it been a native creature in front of him, it wasn’t though, so he honestly didn’t know what to make of it.

The first thing in Tavros’ mind was that he looked starved half to death, you could easily have played the xylophone on those ribs, food had been laid out hours ago, but it seemed to be completely untouched, had he even seen it was there? surely if he had, he would have eaten it, there was absolutely no way he wasn’t hungry, so why didn’t he eat any of it.

Resolving to get some food into the creature he walked up onto the overhead walkway and stood there gently calling out to it, trying to lure it over towards the offered meal, a small stack of assorted meat, it didn’t react, no matter what he did it did not seem to care.

Growing increasingly desperate, he walked back down and looked upon the curving bony back once again, it had to eat, it couldn’t be too long before it became too weak to get up and go to the food on its own.

What if it had already happened? what if the reason it was not reacting was because it no longer had the strength in its body.

Not thinking entirely clearly Tavros paced back and forth in front of the window, trying to come up with some sort of plan of action, maybe if he went in there, it didn’t seem strong enough to be very aggressive anymore, it probably wouldn’t have enough energy to attack him, right?.

He hoped, maybe if he just went in, threw a few slices of meat over towards it and left again quickly, surely that would be okay, the creature was too apathetic to react fast enough to hurt him if he hurried.

Once again, he hoped.


	6. Chapter 6

Finding the staff only back rooms proved to be a surprisingly simple task, not particularly hard, all he had to do was follow the signs.

Finding a way into the exhibit was just as easy, the discrete white door clearly had a warning sign posted on it, and if he had been thinking just a bit more with his brain instead of just his heart, he would probably have heeded the warnings of there being a dangerous predator lurking just inside.

Even if he was still resolute in his decision to at least try to provoke it into eating, even if just a little, he was still careful, entering quietly only after taking a long moment full of deep breaths and okay here we go’s.

His hand felt almost numb on the cold metal of the door handle, the door itself swung open easily enough after he turned the key in the lock and heard it click, quietly confirming his success.

Slipping inside, he closed the door behind him as fast as he could, he was still a little paranoid that it might escape if he left the door open for even a second longer than what was strictly necessary, he most certainly did not want to be blamed with setting a dangerous predatory alien loose on the planet, that would look just awful on his resumé.

The ground was covered in grass and ferns growing in the artificially maintained soil that made up the foundation of the enclosure, he couldn’t quite see the creature from where he stood just inside the door, he could however see the little pile of raw meats off to his right.

It should be a relatively simple task, just go over, pick up a slice, and toss it over there so it can reach it, yeah, simple and easy.

With these words echoing in his mind like a mantra he slowly and carefully made his way over to the pile, always keeping one eye on where he knew the creature was hiding.

Halfway there he started to be able to catch a slight glimpse of grey skin and orange horns, it hadn’t moved yet, so far, so good.

He dared not turn away till he was right by the little stack, looking away for just a moment to pick up good thick slice of whatever animal this had come from, it felt wet and cold in his hand, slippery too, so very distinctly dead, for a moment the thought occurred to him that it was no wonder it wasn’t eating, just looking at the cold piece of flesh in his hand was making him lose his own appetite.

Then again, he didn’t exactly eat things raw now did he, no siree bob.

It wasn’t that the slab was rotten or even smelled bad, it just felt so weird in his hand, examining it for a moment Tavros eventually concluded that it might actually have been something his own father would have cooked him for dinner when he was little, it didn’t look that much different from an over sized pork chop.

Tavros had never been a very good ballplayer, he had never aspired to be either, he never thought it would matter if he could successfully throw a roughly spherical object into a net on the first try or not, but for once in his short lifetime he wished he was, he didn’t want to attract too much of the creatures attention, nor did he want to have to try several times just to get it right.

So he moved in a little closer, just a few cautious baby steps towards the eerily lifeless grey mass curled up in the corner, 

It would be easy, just one quick throw and then getting the hell out of dodge, clean and simple Tavros, clean and simple.

With one last shaking nervous exhalation he raised up his arm, his fingers holding the cold slab firmly against his palm, and threw it as best he could over towards the still form on the floor.

It hit it’s target, a bit too literally, the offered piece of sustenance smacked directly into the creatures shoulder with a sloppy wet slapping noise that practically echoed disturbingly in the back of Tavros’ mind, oh god, he thought, now it is most definitely going to wake up.

Standing stock still, he watched petrified as the creature gently stirred for a moment, only to watch it curl up a little tighter into itself, completely ignoring his presence and that of the offending substance beside it.

Okay, time to get the hell out, that was far too close for Tavros’ liking, far too close, and he didn’t dare risk even one more reckless move, so he painstakingly sneaked his way back towards the door that would lead him back out of the danger zone, watching the creatures concrete grey back anxiously for even the slightest hint of any further movement, just a few more steps and he would be there, just a little farther.

Finally, he felt the smooth surface of the door at his back, hands shaking, he cautiously turned around to unlock it and let himself back out of there, he fiddled a little with the lock gruelingly, his bundle of assorted skeleton keys jingled nerve wreckingly between his fingers, this had been a bad idea, a very, very bad idea.

When the right key was found and slid smoothly into place in the lock, he breathed out, now he just had to turn the knob and he would be back in safety.

Placing his hand on the knob he started to slowly turn it, only to be interrupted by a clammy, shivery cold feeling striking the back of his neck suddenly, a few chilly streams of an unknown cool liquid running down his shirt along his spine.

Hastily grabbing at it, he nearly panicked right there, it had attacked him, it had attacked him, oh god, resisting the urge to scream in shock, he only let out a quiet little whimper as the icy chunk slid off his skin into his hand easily, it was a raw piece of meat.

Spinning on his heel rapidly he looked behind him, pressing his back up against the door.

It was sitting upright now, staring back at him through the foliage, he could see its glaringly yellow eyes peeking at him lethargically.

He dropped the cold slab in his hand and scrambled for the door handle, not once turning around to look at the door behind him, he didn’t dare look away, finally he found it and felt the door give way behind him, he nearly fell onto the floor of the back room in his haste, quickly locking the door securely behind him before allowing himself to slide down it to sit on the floor, what a long day this had been.


	7. Chapter 7

He hadn’t told Jeremy yet, he simply could not figure out how, he wanted to, he really did, it was just that he didn’t even know where to start, how to even begin explaining how the creature had flung the food back at him almost sarcastically without ever leaving its spot in the corner.

So he remained silent, got up from his tired, seated position on the floor, and walked all the way back to the break room, changed back into his civilian clothes and his heavy jacket with the fuzz around the collar that tickled his neck when the wind blew, and continued right out of the zoo, he didn’t encounter anyone on his little trip, some part of him was grateful for that. He wasn’t sure all the color had returned to his face yet.

What an exhausting day this had been, getting home to his little one room apartment was suddenly starting to look like a week long holiday at the spa, Tavros could barely wait to be home and having a good long shower.

His hands still shook a little when he thought about the sticky liquid still stubbornly running in little rivulets down to his upper back from the hair on the back of his head, most of it had thankfully been caught by the employee shirt he had been wearing, he really should have thought to wipe it away before he put on his helmet and got on his moped, then maybe he wouldn’t have to be reminded the entire way home.

Getting out of his clothes and into the shower felt just as heavenly as he had thought it would, he hadn’t realized just how badly his back and arms were aching until now, he wasn’t going to be doing anything very active any time soon, not until that spot between his shoulder blades stopped feeling like it had been repeatedly beaten in with a sledgehammer.

No, it would have to be a quick snack and a long rest for him.

Putting the finishing touches to his banana sandwich, he had decided to treat himself to a little honey on top, he walked out of his little kitchen to sit on his bed, there wasn’t really much in the one room he owned yet, just a bed and the bookshelf containing all his worldly possessions, still, the bed wasn’t bad, especially not after he had stacked his pillows behind his back and pulled the warm duvet over his knees, not bad at all.

With a honey and banana sandwich on the windowsill next to him and his slightly outdated laptop on his lap, he finally felt a bit of peace in his heart, this was home, this was safe, no meat slinging aliens in here.

Maybe a quick trip to the rather extensive games folder on his computer could keep him occupied while he rested his back.

Once again Tavros Nitram grossly underestimated the strength of the choke hold a good rpg could have on him, in the end, he found himself captivated in a world all his own till the sun had set and the birds outside his one window had all fallen silent.

Tomorrow came marching up to his doorstep far sooner than he had been hoping it would, but there was no avoiding it, it may be hard work but caring for the living, feeling beings that inhabited the planet alongside his own species had always been his greatest ambition in life, he wanted this, he just didn’t want to get up in the morning.

Tavros didn’t feel as awkward this morning as he had the previous, today he knew where to go and what to do, he had a place here now, he had his fledgling routines and he performed them as dutifully as he could muster so early in the morning.

Everything had to be done by the time the park opened, the guests came to see majestic elephants and fierce tigers, not slobs rolling around in their accumulated filth. And just as he had aimed to do, he finished in time, in fact, he finished with enough time to spare to go get himself a congratulatory cup of hot chocolate, life was good again.

He still felt uneasy about the creature though, it seemed odd that it would go through the trouble of lifting its undernourished body off the ground simply to throw a piece of meat at him, why not go the whole nine yards and just attack him while he had his back turned? Why spend the little energy it had duplicating his actions, was it done out of spite?

No, that would be insinuating that it was a whole lot smarter than it was, maybe, it had thought it was some sort of game, maybe it just didn’t understand, or maybe it just hadn’t had the drive to maul him properly.

Whatever its reasons he wasn’t too keen on going near it so soon after, but as his rank in the great zoo employee hierarchy was pretty low, he couldn’t say no when Jeremy asked him to do just that, apparently he had decided that it needed a medical checkup so he had sedated it and wanted Tavros to come along and watch him go through the procedures, something about it being vital later on when he would have to do these kinds of things himself.

He couldn’t exactly say no to that, so off he went trailing slightly behind Jeremy, as if somehow trying to draw out the walk there just a little longer, if Jeremy noticed it, he didn’t say anything.

Sure enough it lay on the floor of its home unmoving as always, Jeremy assured him it was already fast asleep, Tavros wasn’t entirely convinced, at this point he was almost certain it was clever enough to pull out the dart and just play dead.

The two went in and they crouched down next to it, it was heavier than he had expected when they turned it over to lay flat on its back, it looked even thinner now with its blatantly protruding ribs and hipbones, not to mention its sunken in stomach and cheeks, its long mane knotted in stubborn, muddy tangles that would usually have run all the way down its back. The creature truly looked a horrible mess.


	8. Chapter 8

Jeremy tugged on the creatures arm, lifting it away and exposing the side of its ribcage. He hmm’ed distantly and waved Tavros closer with one hand, holding the arm just below the elbow, he gently moved it in front of them both and pinched the skin pulling it outwards and letting go.

Instead of more or less snapping back into place as Tavros had been expecting it to, the little flap of skin only very slowly faded back in with the rest.

“The skin has lost its elasticity” Jeremy pointed out “its a clear sign of dehydration I’m afraid, and its obvious to just about anyone that it isn’t eating either”. Jeremy looked worried, tapping his knuckles against his knee a few times he finally continued.

“You and I are going to have to figure something out Tavros, it won’t stay alive for very long like this, and it is our job to make sure it’s healthy as can be”. he gently lowered the creatures arm back onto the ground and turned towards Tavros, “do you have any idea why it’s not eating or drinking when it obviously needs to?” he asked calmly.

Tavros considered his answer very carefully, it felt like he was being tested somehow and he didn’t want to disappoint. “It could be stressed” he said cautiously “or it might not trust us enough”.

Jeremy smiled in approval “correct Tavros, it’s probably a combination of those two things. Most living things are social in some way, even big predators like lions and wolves crave company. To it we are a threat, and you don’t trust anything a threat gives you. So, we have to find a way to make it feel safe here”.

Jeremy stood up, Tavros quickly following suit. “until then we’ll have to give it some fluids intravenously, I’ve already called in the vet, he should be over anytime now” Jeremy smiled reassuringly, but Tavros still felt a little sick to his stomach, it was suffering, in more ways than one.

He felt a hand pat him on the shoulder a few times “don’t worry about it Tavros, We know what we’re doing but these things take time, especially with new ones like this. For now we do what we can for it and hope for the best”.

Tavros nodded mutely when Jeremy told him he could go on home now, half of him wanted to get away from this, to get it out of his mind, but the other half wanted to stay, wanted to fix it.

“I’ll walk a few rounds first if you don’t mind. To clear my head” he said, and after Jeremy nodded his approval Tavros slowly walked out and started wandering about the place.

This was a catastrophe, it was only getting worse, despite his best efforts the previous night the creatures condition just wasn’t improving, it was getting worse, fast too.

He wondered how it must feel, to be isolated from everything you ever knew and constantly surrounded by things that before were completely foreign to you, strange food, strange smells, strange new creatures.

It probably wasn’t very nice, in fact it was probably pretty hard to deal with. He didn’t blame it its reluctance and constant withdrawal, it seemed to him to quite simply be the most natural reaction any feeling being could have under these circumstances. It was frightened and alone not rebellious or even defiant.

Just go home already Tavros, he thought to himself, you’re going in circles.

So he did, but going home doesn’t mean going to sleep, even at the darkest hour of night he could barely find the peace of mind to lie still, no less fall asleep. So he lay awake through most of the night, simply wondering if the cause for the creatures health and well being had already been lost.

 

The cheerful light of morning brought on with it a new day and a new conviction in the young man, he had had all night to think this through and his sleep deprived mind had eventually arrived at a certain sense of determination, determination to find a way to make that gangly grey mass of limbs feel better, even if only by a little bit.

So he rushed through his routines working as hard and as fast as his arms would let him. But when the time came and he sat on the floor in front of the huge window that offered insight into the creatures life and home, he could think of nothing, he could only sit there.

There had been people here only minutes ago, but they had all drifted off as closing hours approached and the parks residents became less active and engaging to look at.

The fish in the pool were as beautiful as always, and the creature was as still and withdrawn as always, Jeremy had told him at break that the scientists had dubbed the species “troll”, finally, he had something he could refer to the eclectic being as. Something that couldn’t be used to refer to just anything.

He had been sitting here for awhile now, and his keys were starting to dig into his thigh painfully, so he pulled them out of his pocket and put them down next to him with the almost disproportionately loud clanging sound of metal scraping against metal.

Tavros’ train of thought was swiftly derailed when he looked back up, the so called troll now lay on its back, he could see one bright yellow eye peeking at him drowsily.

The children had teased it today, Tavros had noticed, they had stopped when he approached but none the less he could tell that they had been banging on the glass and shouting down at it from the walkway for quite a while, after all, their distracted mother had done nothing to stop them, and children of that age did not need much encouragement to let a situation spiral into inconsiderate amounts running and screaming.

It looked as tired as he felt as it slowly rolled onto its side to face him, looking up at the untouched pile of meat ever present in its cage it reached out with a long spindly arm and picked up a slice. For a brief second Tavros was elated, perhaps its desperation for sustenance had finally triumphed over its paranoia, perhaps it would finally try a little of the offered foods.

Sure enough the troll brought the slice over in front of it and grasped it in the arm it was not currently lying upon, and swung it back in a quick movement before throwing it right at Tavros.

The wet slab hit the glass with a bang and fell into the water with a splash, Tavros was stunned, this again? Had it completely misunderstood?, maybe, he couldn’t help but laugh a little, in his disbelief.

As he looked at the odd being still lying in the grass though, his laughter quickly stopped when the creature drew back its lips from one side of its mouth to expose long sharp teeth, and made a few short wheezy coughing noises in rapid succession, then again, Tavros thought, maybe not.

In fact Tavros was starting to believe it might actually understand a whole lot more than people gave it credit for.


	9. Chapter 9

Tavros sat there barely even believing his own eyes, his jaw dropping slightly as he stared incredulously. The almost coughing, long wheezing noises the troll had just made were definitely very deliberate.

Was it. copying him? Genuinely, honest to Goat copying him? He did not think it was possible, he had long since assumed that it was probably a little more than averagely intelligent, but copying to this degree seemed just bizarre. Even for an intelligent animal.

Seeing no further response from him the trolls face fell back into exhausted neutrality, and its head came back down to gingerly rest on its arm. Tavros almost wished it hadn’t stopped. At this point any reaction was a good reaction, even if it was an utterly absurd and unexpected one.

The scientists had explicitly detailed in the myriads of files and folders the creature had arrived accompanied by, that this was not life capable of intelligence and sentience on par with that of human beings. It was an animal, a simple beast of the woods sent by something else for reasons undisclosed.

But, Tavros reasoned, certain species of birds mimicked human beings too, maybe this was the same thing in a different species, mimicry as a form of communication, and not necessarily a sign of a higher sense of understanding.

Yes, that made sense. If he were to send something into space to possibly meet with another species it would definitely have to be at least somewhat clever. Maybe, on whatever species’ planet this had come from, this was some kind of pet, an animal kept for labor, or even companionship, like dogs. trainable and social yet not quite geniuses.

It certainly looked as though it could be useful as a pet, or even just as a working animal. It could probably lift some pretty heavy stuff, being the size that it was. It might even have made for a good gatekeeper or guard of some kind.

On the other hand, the way it looked at him seemed unnervingly studious, and he had only laughed once, that he could remember, within the trolls earshot.

Didn’t animals usually mimic things they saw often, rather than something brand new? what a weird creature it was, what strangely fascinating turns it took.

Curious as to whether or not he might be able to provoke another reaction, Tavros smiled widely, beaming, looking right at the troll as he did, making sure it had noticed him.

Its gaze had not wandered, nor did it as it quickly responded in kind and drew its lips back in clumsy imitation, raising its head again to see him a bit better.

Tavros’ smile quickly turned genuine, finally, it was reacting to something. he slowly stood, careful not to make any sudden movements that might disturb this distinctly clandestine moment.

finally on his feet, he simply watched smiling giddily as it slowly, very slowly, rose up on its elbow, resting there for a moment, and then pushed itself further upright to sit as Tavros had, on its backside facing him.

And though Tavros’ heart ached when he saw its arms shake and quiver with the simple stress of holding up the weight, his smile was renewed when he saw the huge troll smiling back at him as best it could manage. It was a pretty damn good attempt too.

Its disconcertingly long and jagged teeth suddenly no longer looked like a threat, but simply a benign part of its appearance.

Maybe, just maybe, Tavros thought to himself, if he could get it to do this, to copy him in this. He could gain its trust, draw it out of its carefully constructed shell.

For one gleeful moment he even dared to entertain the blissful thought of it eating, running, jumping around as living creatures were meant to. For one short moment, he dared to imagine it living, rather than dying.

When he reached down to pick up his keys from the floor, its eyes followed him curiously, and when he put up a hand and waved his goodbyes, it too raised a hand and flopped it about languidly.

As he walked away it practically fell back onto its back and laid there resting quietly in the silence.

Maybe tomorrow he would bring it something, something he could use to gain its interest, a ball perhaps. Yes, that would be a good idea. Maybe it would like a brightly colored bouncy one. Tavros smiled to himself as he trudged homeward.

Going home only to shower, he left soon afterwards to search the stores.

The local toy stores were a bit of a disappointment, everything there seemed fragile and otherwise easily broken, that simply wouldn’t do. Malnourished as it may be the troll was clearly still a powerful force of nature not to be messed with carelessly.

Maybe, he mused, the pet shop would be a safer bet, as far as he knew dog toys tended to be pretty solidly constructed. The last thing he needed was for it to choke on some small bit or piece it had somehow managed to tear off.

Sure enough, the pet store did not disappoint, everything there seemed durable and hard wearing. Some items even boasted being allegedly bulletproof.

But being that Tavros was not a millionaire with thousands to spend on all manners of chew toys and tugging ropes, he went for the classic. A good old sturdy ball, a bit bigger than than a standard tennis ball, it had a handy rope attached through its middle too for throwing, and it was big enough to fit in its hands, but not quite small enough to fit down its throat.

And Tavros was almost certain that the gaudy polka dots decorating it would be eye catching enough to garner some form of attention from the otherwise quite apathetic troll.


	10. Chapter 10

Tavros nitram loved his job. He loved the very idea of it, taking care of animals of all sizes, young and old alike, seeing to their health and wellbeing, in a place where no two days were the same. 

Oh sure, not all of it was grand and exciting. The literal shit shoveling wasn't exactly what he had imagined in his youthful mind when he had taken up the opportunity. 

But for all it's back breaking moments, he would never regret getting up in the morning. Yes, Tavros Nitram loved his job dearly, and as such, it was not in any way unusual for him to feel just a tad excited about going. 

just a smidgen of groggy morning enthusiasm about checking in on the wide range of animals he was quickly getting to know the ins and outs of working with. But today, today felt special, today was the day he woke up, got dressed, had breakfast, and headed out the door with the distinctive shape of a very sturdy rubber ball showing through the pocket of his jacket. 

Today felt special, it had no reasons not to, it was a good day already, the kind of day on which Tavros felt like he had, not only a goal, but also, dare he say, a vaguely realistic chance of accomplishing it. 

Operation Make the Troll Feel Better About It's Current State and Hopefully Facilitate a Minor Degree of Fluid and/or Nutrient Intake was a go. 

Today would be a good day, he could feel it coming already.

 

*******************************************************************************************************

 

It was back, the one in the dark green cloth, well, one of them anyway. But this was the short one, small and narrow it was, with a voice that he knew crackled gently when it spoke, though he did not understand the long guttural sounds it uttered on a regular basis, usually in company of those similar to itself, though sometimes, he had noticed, it also happened while it was alone, or, even more rarely, to the ones who came in all different colors of cloth and odd bands.

They seemed to follow its bidding, or the bidding of the green clothed ones in general, he couldn't quite tell which was the right assumption. Not that it mattered particularly, lately he had even begun to wonder if anything really did, if there was even anything out there anymore that really mattered. 

To him, to the world, to anyone. Something not made up during the good times, like undeniable rights and freedoms. Something that universally meant anything, a thing beyond individuals, beyond creed and birth, beyond it all, yet permeating gently through out it all. He had thought there was when he was younger, dumber. 

These days, he just didn't know. and he was starting to dread the answer, the idea growing in his mind that maybe, after all, there is nothing, just nothing. that every now and every then that ever happened and ever will is meaningless, that maybe they never had a chance.

That maybe the world is just too cold for that, too heavy handed, that maybe the reason why nobody had yet been able to figure out where all this life came from wasn't because it was all one big miraculous coincidence of boisterous jubilance, but rather because it had never been meant to be, because it had never been wanted or welcomed.

He misses the cloth he used to wear, misses its familiarity and its warmth, he had never been shy, no one of his species really had reason to, they were all the same anyway, bodies only varied so much, and it was all natural.

But he missed his cloth none the less, if nothing else but for the meager reason that it had been his, it had felt like it was his.

Nothing much did anymore, he had, by some odd twist of fate, ended up utterly surrounded by that which was definitely not his.

This was not his home, these were not his things, and those were not his people. Not his friends, quite frankly he wasn't sure what they technically were, only that he didn't know, and that maybe he didn't really want to

It came often, the little thing, ever since he had fallen asleep against his will in a different, smaller cage and woken up in this one, he remembered it coming. The ones who wore the colorful cloth came and went, most were new every time they appeared just outside of the lie of a forest he found himself trapped in, just outside of reach, for them and for him.

But the little one came almost every day, he had started to use it as a way to tell time, the comings and goings of the green clothed ones.

They had a pattern, he was sure of it. They came and went, as if on a demented schedule only they understood, every day, there was a strange sense of order to it all, though he couldn't quite tell what to do with that knowledge. What could he do? Surrounded by walls one could see, but never reach, through, a familiar concept yet not quite the way he remembered it having been while he was still at home, not really.

It didn't bother him anymore, though it had at first. At first everything had meant something to him, a chance to bargain, a chance to escape, a chance to find his way back to what he knew. Now, it was all the same, a dull old song he didn't know what to do with, a tune he didn't understand, yet somehow felt compelled to dance to, a people who looked at him, but never saw him, that he somehow felt he ought to at least try for, a few jerks of limbs and body, a vain and distant hope that maybe, somehow they would understand, even if he did not. 

He had spent what he had come to think of as his first while of being in these strange places, trying to figure it out, find the solution, solve the puzzle, maybe even find his way back.

Early on, he had hoped for escape, maybe even rescue, it wasn't unthinkable to him that maybe reinforcements had already been sent out, that maybe they were already on their way to get him.

He had tried, tried and tried again to make contact with the beings he was already in the company of. But they never seemed to understand, they noticed, he was sure they did, he was sure the little one did, but nothing ever came, it all remained the same day in and day out despite all his efforts.

He had decided to just not try anymore. He now felt too overcome with the feeling that maybe they didn't understand either, or, more worryingly, that maybe they, like himself, just didn't care all that much anymore.

Nothing felt real anymore, he had come to see the world as a nightmare he would, for once, not escape, the dreams he had in his fitful sleep was his reprieve now, not his reality. 

But that was okay with him, reality is as finite as dreams and sleep, it must all end at some point, that just as he could put an end to those of his resting visions that upset him, so too could he put an end to reality.

He didn't even really feel hungry anymore. Though his mouth still felt a little dry. In time, he was sure it would pass, everything would, it was only a matter of waiting out the last dull minutes of his waking night terrors.

He didn't want to kill himself, life had more dignity than that, it deserved to run its own course, but he was not brave enough either he was certain of that too. He was certain that he was not nearly brave or strong enough to weather this storm, to withstand this life of solitude, of utter isolation, of watching his own dignity erode and disappear into the ground he laid on.


End file.
